....I know,...I know,...you're thinking: 'Why are psychics ALWAYS WRONG?'
(I don't know,...maybe Dave does,...) But, given their historical record of complete ineptitude, I think all psychics that publish predictions that turn out to be FALSE, should get a complimentary Darwin Award. (...even Elvis agrees with me on this,...).
...Anyway, this is the OFFICIAL MASM Psychic Predictions for 2010 thread, and I think the correct approach should be:
...to come up with the most ridiculous, unscientific, and outrageous statements ever seen on an Internet forum.
That way, the probability is high that someone will get one right (if you ARE actually psychic, then you understand my 'thinking' on this).
...and, DON'T CHEAT! It is unacceptable to predict that, 'Rush Limbaugh will get more death threats than the President',...
or,...'Reality TV will be ALOT more exciting this year',...or, that 'this year's Britney Spears' concert Tour will gross over a Hundred Million Dollars, worldwide'.
That kind of stuff is ludicrous and pathetic, and more importantly, outlaw hedge fund managers cannot factor such nebulous concepts into their computer models,...
There are NO RULES, really,...except,...
Make predictions that can be verified empirically. Have it Notarized. Have it tattooed on your ass.
The future of humanity may well depend upon your revelations.
...Here is my prediction:
I predict that looting celebrity estates will become a wildly popular religious cult.
In fact, in California it will become an unstoppable juggernaut (it will be bigger than Gravity), and there will be so many organized religious looters that they will be required to hold press conferences and take out full page advertisements in the Los Angeles Times,
declaring: the Target celebrity (with Mug Shot) and current itinerary, the preliminary time frame, satellite reconnaissance photos with arrows and sticky notes and perp approaches indicated in red, and, of course, a note of approval from Mom. Many looters will have their escapades documented by rogue Film Crews. The cops will provide security escorts and actually get some credit for making arrests.
Martial Law will be declared. Hundreds of thousands of starving refugees will arrive from all over the world to join in the fun. The media will go absolutely berserk. Paris Hilton will get so many lucrative Television and Movie offers, that she will run for Governor and win in a landslide. Her first official act will be to legalize celebrity looting (permits required), and declare California a Federal Disaster Zone.
Java programmers accidentally and unwittingly program a devastating, self-aware computer virus that wrecks the world communications infrastructure. As the only ones knowledgeable enough to fix it, the active members of MASM32 forum save humanity on condition of being declared absolute rulers of earth. All poverty and war solved within 6 weeks, but internal power struggles regarding meaningless cycle counts spirals out of control, sending earth into a new dark age. Corrupt politicians take over again, and everything back to normal by 2011. :8)
-r
Quote from: redskull on January 02, 2010, 08:43:45 PM
All poverty and war solved within 6 weeks, but internal power struggles regarding meaningless cycle counts ...
I am pretty sure we can do it in 5 weeks, provided Lingo is available :green
i predict the "carry flag" will be set ::)
Or did you mean "Carrie flag" Dave?
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Carrie_%28film%29
lol Rags
i had something more like this in mind...
(http://maricopa360.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/10/DSC06123.jpg)
notice how the short guys are on the end
the tall guys don't look all that tall, either - lol
i also like how they are marching through the parking lot of a townhouse - lol
you won't see these guys on main street
I supported Paris Hilton for president, she has good legs and daddies money. Not that there is anything wrong with Obama, he was handed the poisoned chalice after G.W.Dumbphuk and has taken much of the bitter pill out of it.
While we are at it, for the next elections around the world, Sego for President in France, Tszipi Livni to roll Benny at the next election in Israel, Yulia Tymoshenko to becomes the next president of the recombined new soviet and a continuation of the good looking blonde in ARgentina.
Then we can have a Newer World Order of government sponsorship for cheaper nylon stockings, lipstick discounts and an end to the anal retentive bullshit we all have been hearing for years. :bg
PS3 bllue-ray will be hijacked on China and all the PS3 on indonesia would be installed with a self de-encryption mod-chip, this should save humanity from war and poverty ( because Im too bussy with the game)
>government sponsorship for cheaper nylon stockings, lipstick discounts
Is there something you want to tell us hutch? :bg
I predict that dave will 1)become an x64 guru and 2)will break 10,000 posts.
:bg
> Is there something you want to tell us hutch?
Nah but if you keep the girls happy there is less noise in the world.
The world will become entirely virtualised
If you want some amusing enlightenment (and hardcore truths) - I'm reading 'God is not great' by Christoher Hitchens.
QuoteI predict that dave will 1)become an x64 guru and 2)will break 10,000 posts
Sinsi - the idea is to pick something that might actually happen - lol
Ha, Ha.
You guys are naturals. But,...I'm worried,...
I should have specified that all responses be posted in 'binary'. I'd be willing to bet that Paris Hilton has a huge legal staff that does nothing except search the Internet for inflammatory and derogatory statements about their client.
I fear that some really ugly litigation is imminent.
However, once her business advisors actually 'think' about the convoluted plot to catapult her into the political stratosphere, (and she realizes that it will be majorly fun campaigning in her bikini)...I'm pretty sure she'll hire a bunch of demented political operatives and just-out-of-rehab ghostwriters to do a script treatment (on spec), to shop around to the major studios,...and, for which she will, by default, get the starring role.
...I need to find a specialist (a vicious, hard-core, Dave-like bare-knuckles negotiator) that can get me my margies before the Major Studios get their sleazy, in-house lawyers into the project.
...Other than that, I've got to point out that redskull's prediction is entirely plausible, especially:
Quote"All poverty and war solved within 6 weeks, but internal power struggles regarding meaningless cycle counts spirals out of control, sending earth into a new dark age."
This has the timeless ring of TRUTH to it. I'm absolutely CERTAIN it will happen,...
...Still trying to decode dednDave's response,...I'm sure he's right,...I just don't understand what he's right about. But, I've alerted my Broker,...and I'm sure all the investment bankers on Wall Street have their spy networks on code red,...ready to surge into a brutal 'Black Friday' trading frenzy, the moment we know what the HELL is going through his mind,...
...and,...Hutch, you have world-class political instincts,...
...Your succinct wrap-up of current world affairs, this is probably the best all-around characterization of modern political developments that I've read in the last couple of decades,...
QuoteNot that there is anything wrong with Obama, he was handed the poisoned chalice after G.W.Dumbphuk and has taken much of the bitter pill out of it.
:bg
> I'd be willing to bet that Paris Hilton has a huge legal staff
I would be willing to go to court to testify that Paris Hilton has nice legs and LOTZ of daddies money.
Now back to the virtues of having all the girls running politics around the world, elect Paris for President, get rid of the corporate lurks and perks, dump a mountain of stockbrokers out the door with the arse out of their pants and penniless, sell off their Lear Jets and Ferraris and their multiple condos around the world and with the proceeds you could fund the girls having a snagged Nylon Stocking bounty, discounted lipstick and even prettier options with the interior trims of their under 1 litre cars.
By no longer funding this army of bludgers and parasites the price of gasoline would come down do you could afford to drive Ford V8s again, wear stubbies, steel cap boots and a blue Chesty Bond singelet under an Akubra hat, manage few beers with your mates without the wowsers pissing in your ear and con one of the girls to drive you home if you end up pissed.
Now the only real problem is stopping the girls from raising their sons as "New Age Sensitive Males". Its fine for the girls to be "nice" and all that but guys need to be brought up as a bunch of pushy little shits who aren't afraid to puch another little shit in the mouth if he tries to pull any nonsense.
010101000110100001100101001000000111011101101111011100100110110001100100001000000111011101101001011011000110110000100000011000100110010101100011011011110110110101100101001000000110010101101110011101000110100101110010011001010110110001111001001000000111011001101001011100100111010001110101011000010110110001101001011100110110010101100100
:/ it's happening already
...this one I had in a dream,...
...While making adjustments on a innovative prototype "new age, gentler and kinder" psycho-taser in his garage, in rural Arizona, Dave has an 'accident' and blows a fuse. At that very instant, unbeknownst to Dave and the rest of Western Civilization, the Earth's orbital configuration becomes perfectly aligned with an Intergalactic Convergence of Forces so unimaginably, monstrously huge as to be inconceivable to the state-of-the-art of modern science.
What normally would be a surge of just a few stray electrons, is magnified a gazillion-gazillion-fold, accelerating a massive plume of relativistic plasma upward into the Earth's ionosphere, where it induces a highly-energetic geomagnetic bubble that implodes into a cosmogenic sibling of the primordial 'Big Bang'. This inadvertently, creates a thermal anomaly of 2 million degrees Celsius, ionizing the Earth's atmosphere, and converting all the Carbon Dioxide into rare isotopes of Zaraium, consequently reversing Global Warming and saving humanity from the Wrath of its own stupidity. Within days, atmospheric Scientists and Climate Modelers worldwide report that 'Gloabl Warming is not a problem anymore', and Dave is hailed as a genius and a hero. While conducting a Press Conference for billions of adoring fans, Dave attempts to explain that, He has no idea what really happened, and that it all was a minor experimental 'accident'. But, his rationale is drowned out by the crowd, screaming maniacally, 'DAVE IS GOD! DAVE IS GOD!'
In an unfortunate collateral effect, it is discovered years later, that the entire population of North America has had their collective genome scrambled and are incapable of procreating in the Darwinian sense.
lol - sounds like a great script for "Starship Troopers VII"
Quote...Dave attempts to explain that, He has no idea what really happened...
that'll never happen - if i don't know the right answer, i will make something up - lol
Quote...the entire population of North America has had their collective genome
scrambled and are incapable of procreating in the Darwinian sense.
see - now that would actually help with the global warming thingy
But what if Paris finds respectability? Will she stop flashing us? Will Bill gates fall on his knees in awe and rejuvenate masm making it the web tool of the future? If we are all to be blinded by the light from the altar, can we at least take a snap shot of the past for a memento first? Will Paris' measurements become the new fibonacci sequence? Yes! She is the golden ratio! 2010, here we come...
QuoteWill Paris' measurements become the new fibonacci sequence?
kind of looks like a linear function, to me:
X = 0
:bg
Now come on guys, you cannot appear that dumb unless you are really smart and have LOTZ of daddies money. :P
Quote from: dedndave on January 05, 2010, 12:45:34 AM
QuoteWill Paris' measurements become the new fibonacci sequence?
kind of looks like a linear function, to me:
X = 0
Dave, you just want to be the the derivative on her bezier. I am a simpler man. Fingerpaints by number. (No negatives)
...in Today's Los Angeles Times, there is a review of a recently published biography of Warren Beatty, "Star, How Warren Beatty Seduced America", in which the author attempts to calculate the number of women Warren seduced in his 30-year career as a movie star before settling down with Annette Benning. The grand total: 12,775.
...Ok,...so, the unofficial world's record is,...12,776.
I predict that an assembly geek from North Dakota will shatter this record, and have complete video documentation to prove it.
President Obama will be so impressed that he will immediately appoint 'the geek' as the prestigious Chairman of the Joint Chiefs of Staff of the United States of America.
Ex-Vice President Dick Cheney will hold a Press Conference, claiming that he holds the official record, and that it would be in 'our national interest' to invade France.
...I'm probably not going to tattoo that one on my ass, as it will hurt my chances in 2011.
lol - it doesn't sound like you've ever been to North Dakota
i don't think there are 12,776 women there - lol
at least, not 12,776 you'd want to play with :P
(now, i am going to hear from the NoDakers)
Quote from: dave's profilePosts: 3465 (9.957 per day)
Date Registered: 25 January 2009, 01:21:39
With the acceleration in 'posts per day' I am thinking that one of my predictions will be damned close.
>NoDakers
No dacks? Like, going commando? :bg
Yes, I get it
more like going postal :P
>more like going postal
Postal 2 was the funniest fps game I have ever played. Better than serious sam or duke3d. Jokes galore.
See, if you reply to this message then that's just one more on the way to 10K.
You just can't help yourself.
In the next year people would invent a device which would be able to integrate atom so anyone could create many food. But there are problems, you would need a driver for the food you want to create, and only programmers who able to create that food (cooperating with a chemistry expert off course). And the device cost is only 20$, wait a second, if anyone could create a driver for money or gold, there would a problem, oh I forgot, there are copyright there.
Onan,
i am sure that if someone got that far, unfortunately they would be making weapons and money instead of food and money
you might find it interesting that new elements are made in nature when stars explode - lol
it takes a lot of heat and preasure
Quote from: dedndave on January 09, 2010, 01:24:11 AM
Onan,
i am sure that if someone got that far, unfortunately they would be making weapons and money instead of food and money
you might find it interesting that new elements are made in nature when stars explode - lol
it takes a lot of heat and preasure
Awww, thats bad.
Quote from: sinsi on January 08, 2010, 01:04:03 PM
Quote from: dave's profilePosts: 3465 (9.957 per day)
Updated:
Quote from: dave's profilePosts: 4287 (10.016 per day)
Keep going dave, then I can email that randi fella...
QuoteFrom Bill's profile. Posts: 695 (0.407 per day)
Sinsi, man I better get with it, I'm a real slacker. :bg
Well, looking at all of the predictions, I reckon I was closest. :P
Quote from: dave's profile nowPosts: 7154 (10.133 per day)
Quote from: dave's profile this time last yearPosts: 3465 (9.957 per day)
More than doubled in a year. Retirement suiting you dave? Happy new year mate.
:lol
i have received 786 personal messages, to date :P
Resistance is futile....
(http://www.ex-astris-scientia.org/scans/mechanics/borg-sphere.jpg)
Quote from: SINSIWell, looking at all of the predictions, I reckon I was closest.
...I'm sorry,...it doesn't count, unless you tatooed it on your ass,... :bg :bg :dazzled:
Quote from: DAVEi have received 786 personal messages, to date.
...And, I'll bet, over 780 of those were 'rabid fans' wanting to know what Zara was wearing that day,...
Quote from: DAVEi have received 786 personal messages, to date.
Well, I received only 3 or so .. but that's ok
:bg
According to my wife's starsign prediction ( I have to listen to this $@!!%! on her radio), her sign is due for BIG $$$$ this year.
Well, we happen to be the same starsign.. and my lotto dev proggy is due to be 'klaar' in ...errrrr!! 2 months or so.
Maybe it's me :green2 , but she's also fast moving up in her world...
The problem though.. if it's me (as I've worked on this prog for the past few years), I will have cracked predicting chaos probability...
..wouldn't that be funny.. :P
i wrote some code for that years ago
i found that, if i reduced the field by 70%, i reduced the odds of winning by about.......
......70% :lol
Donkey: 2803 (1.270 per day)
Holy cr*p, I was one of the first members on this board and I'm pretty sure along with a couple of others one of the first moderators and I don't even come close to Dave. Good work Dave, but seriously GET A LIFE ! :bg
:bg
How about a few PSYCHO predictions instead ? :P
There should be no shortage of material at a world level.
:lol
new spelling for politician....
psychotician
Alex sent me a PM, today - #1000 :bg
(http://www.masm32.com/board/index.php?action=dlattach;topic=13039.0;id=9974)(http://www.masm32.com/board/index.php?action=dlattach;topic=13039.0;id=9975)
Quote from: hutch-- on January 05, 2011, 05:39:35 AM
:bg
How about a few PSYCHO predictions instead ? :P
There should be no shortage of material at a world level.
Seriously, as long as we did not blow anything, we should be just fine, I mean recycling everything just in case we run out of material, and kept one or 2 for museum.
Dave, what are you doing up at 5:24am on a Sunday on the computer?
"Ah, I need a wee, might just check the forum while I'm at it" :lol
There's an article in the Advertiser today about teens addicted to internet/video games, are you regressing?
I was close on the 10,000 posts though (I reckon anyway).
nah - i get up early, is all :P
i get my "quiet time" when most of the world around me is still sleeping