...As assembly programmers,...we live boring, dreary lives,...hidden in dark rooms,...angry and neurotic,...with only our compiler errors for company,...
...So, when we need a vacation,...it's got to be thrilling and exciting,...like the plot from the movie: "The Hangover".
Well, I've got just the thing for you: and,...no,...it's not Chernobyl,...
"Add Water and See What Happens in Vegas" (http://www.latimes.com/theguide/bars-and-clubs/la-et-vegas-pool-20110513,0,1521164.story).
Quote from: LOS ANGELES TIMES"What began in 2004 with the launch of a massive pool party called Rehab at the Hard Rock Hotel & Casino,..."
...As I was reading this article,...I was wondering,...why do you have to go all the way to Las Vegas, just for some fun and relaxation ???
And,...then,...I had another one of my brilliant ideas: why not open my own, fabulous, all-you-can-drink, never-ending pool party ???
So,...I began excavating in the back yard (and, the neighbor's back yards). I hired a public relations firm. I hired consultants,...and, bikini models for public appearances..
I hired disgraced ex-Blackwater mercenaries for security. I even sent technicians undercover to Las Vegas' world-famous pool parties, to determine exactly what kind of enhanced mood and ambiance I needed to attract major Hollywood celebrities, Saudi Oil Sheiks, hordes of assembly programmers,...and, of course, all the most attractive young bikini-clad women in the world.
...Since, I'm still in the development stage,...there are still minor problems to resolve:
- Occasionally, Paris Hilton will show up, unannounced, and expect to be treated like a head of state,...which, is REALLY annoying.
- Party crashers and other low-lifes are constantly vandalizing the VIP's limousines, and attempting to take hostages.
- Unanticipated alcohol and, (presumably) substance abuse interactions occur frequently,...and, consequently, we get alot of floaters,...which means we have to keep paramedics on constant standby.
- Alot of the girls think they are somehow starring in a stealth version of 'Girls Gone Wild',...and, they demand vast sums of financial remuneration.
- Numerous unsavory individuals, claiming to be affiliates of organized crime syndicates, try to muscle in on my action.
...My thinking is: I'm an entrepreneur,...and, I'm on the cutting edge of an economic revitalization that will empower renewed American prosperity,...
:eek ...By the way, if you search YouTube, for: Las Vegas Pool Parties (http://www.youtube.com/results?search_query=las+vegas+pool+parties&aq=0&oq=Las+Vegas+Pool), you will come up with an enormous number of fun (but, decadent) videos (if you are underaged, better check with Mom first),...clearly,...this represents the vanguard of the decline of Western Civilization,... :eek