Ideology

[Farabi]

Atheism only good for researcher, or anyone who interested to seek the truth himself. Atheism making people become greedy. When people believed they will be paid on heaven, people sacrifised everything for it. I saw that lots of Xtian and muslim are taking care the orphans, guess what when religions falls?? There is no donature. Our government then initiated a law for donating the orphan by force to the commercial company, and I heard still working until now. I must admit our president was wise, and knowledgefull.

Well, everything should be put on order again. Im inventing a new ideology I called, "Islam orthodox" based on the Bible and the Quran. I see that torah and quran making people very aggressive, it is different when I mix it with the new testament one. It maked people remember about what they used to do, sacrifising them self for others happiness. We, just need to making you guys not offended right? Off course, Im sure no one will be offended, Western, Russian, Chinas, everyone will be welcome, as long as they are peacefull. Stay away your wars from us, bussiness as ussual.  :toothy

Well, that is all I want to say. And that is my plan.

[vanjast]

It might be an idea, but humans are just like any other animal on this planet.
There always seems to be a natural urge to dominate, whether it be economically, military, religiously...etc.
and during the process there is a lot of 'colateral damage' (I must admit I can learn new phrases from polititians).

This I'm afraid is not going to change (just like pro-creation), as there will always be one dissatified moron followed by lemmings.
That is not to say we cannot try, but the world would be a better place if we all could program in asm - Maybe that's not a good idea We need somebody to stand on and ridicule.  :bg

[Farabi]

Im losing orientation. First I defending freedom, but now I thought, freedom from what? And freedom of what? Freedom of using drugs?? Im suffered from addiction and still unable to recover until now. Each time I did not get the dose from the doctor, the syntetic one, Im puke, Im powerless, I cant sleep, sweating, and dehidrating. It is so painfull experience, and I felt inconvenient feeling on my back on my central nervous system, a feeling that inconvenient that causing me unable to sleep.
I once overdosed and almost died, Im collapsed, my nose bleeding and I understand nothing even I consius. Weird experience, that you will never imagine.

Im thinking, what am I defending for? We are just ruined somebodys lifes by attracting people to follow our lifestyle. My friend addicted by morphin from the amphetamine he bought from the black market. And he is so suffered. Even though he got a decent salary as an analyst, his life screwed up, Im worried about his family, his wife and son.

My parents refuse me to married me with anyone, even I got too far with some girls, but cant help it. Sometime I watching them without they know it, or gave them money, Im just hope, she did not have any kid from me. I watch all of them. Drugs destroy my life, but what is a big mistake, I destroyed another person lifes.


What are we fighting for? What is our goal? This is not giving me happiness. I know the amercan dreams, when theyr ancestor escapes from religion which is suppressed them too much, but what is our goal now? What is your goal from your doctrin from the movie we saw? Proudly said it is American style, giving us a wrong direction.

Im researching neuroscience in order to cure my addiction, and thank God they invented a syntetic opioid, and it is much safer. But for how long? Its been more than years, and Im still addicted. Im using drags half of my life, since I was 13. I ruined my life because of stupid ideology I heard from a song. I wish I just dont understand english at my age. My friends call it cool, and bully anyone who did not do the same sins. We though it was a man lives.

It stupid. Honestly, I did not know what love is, or even happiness. Honestly, I got a lot of girls. Untill now, I can counted it 23. But I got no sons. And Im still keep an eyes to them, everytime. I will not wasting my kids live. I will take them at all cost, if they are exist. If theyr mother stupid enough to do "smart" thing to them, I'll do the same, that is the rule. I warned each of all of them.


Even though I am a monster, I will not let anyone disturb my kids. Not even theyr mother. I'll protect them. And telling them whats right.
I reconsider to faith. Yes I admit it, it is stupid, I trade my intelligence for my convenience, living on my own dream, on my own reality, a madman. But my live gave me reason not to do that. I will find the lights. Once I mad to God, blaspheming him all I can, cursing him because of my live, but there always memory when it start, that makes me blamed my self. Im so desperated. Felt that God left me behind because of what I did. Even a few days ago I got a tiny accident, but it happened when I talked to God. It felt like, he did not want me to live. He wanted me dead. Im so desperated.

[Farabi]

Guys, im a monster. something prevent me tell you this. i wrote something, suddenly rain, my cable is cutted, but not another computers on my house. i could be 666

[Farabi]

ompldr.org/vYmk1ag/IMMnstr.txt Muslim too stupid to understand all of this. hatred corrupt their souls, so do i back then. i dont want to be a monster. i could be 666. something cut the cables, rains heavy here. i dont know. this is cellphone

[Farabi]

Maybe it was just my dellusions. I got a bad mental health, I bet Im very depressed.

[vanjast]

You know, sometimes it good just to walk away from all the mess, and focus on the 'new horizon'.
Go for a long walk in the rain.... and Ja, keep off the 'stimulants'. You only drop into depression after the effect wears off.

I had a 'friend' who held a well paid job in the Automation Industry, he was getting twice the salary I was.
I would visit regularly and have a few beers and talk bull.
He then started taking Extacy (tried to get me to join him  :naughty: ) with a few friends and over a year he lost his job, his common-law wife left him after 15 years.
He ended up with a girl that I'm sure 'bumped' him off - She was a 'crystal power' witch.
My visits drop off after I couldn't gain access to his house, and when I did visit the last few times, he was locked up with windows and curtains closed... in a real deep depression.
Then their house was up for sale... They had just dissapeared !!!.
I was sure he was dead (overdosed, suicide or 'done in') as I noticed a hobituary in the newpaper with his initials. His father had the same initials, so I wasn't sure.

So over a space of about 2 years, he went from top.. to probably 6 feet under - all because of drugs.
:tdown

[vanjast]

Im researching neuroscience in order to cure my addiction

You wasting your time there.. rather continue Masm programming :U

Drug rehab is a mental problem.. You have got to WANT to get off and STAY off.
It's that simple. What helps is Keeping Real Busy so continue programming, and change your social life and friends (the one's that do drugs).
:wink

[Farabi]

 :U Yeah thanks, nice advice. Im keeping my self bussy so I just can had another fun than drugs, literally, I used to play Games, but I cant afford to buy another anymore, the console so do the software. We are now wear off the peak, and goin down. Im not on a good condition to start a job for a few years I bet. I need to had a few adjustment, both psychological and my physic, I noticed there should be lots of damage. But the Medical check up said Im just fine. Thats what the doctor told me.

I saw that my regeneration system is still working, my immune system still good too. There is nothing wrong with me. But I wont intentionally tested it anymore, no way.