The Programmers Caste

The C Programmer

God consults with the C programmer on every major issue.
The C programmer can walk on water.
He programs on a P90 with 8 Meg RAM w/ Mach32. He can program a graphical spreadsheet in about 2 days.
The C programmer tends to put "()" after every major verb when they talk or write: "are you going() to see() NIN tomorrow? I'll try() to get() tickets!"

The VB Programmer

The VB programmer does lunch with God every day.
He is an olympic class swimmer.
He programs on a 486dx/2 66 with 8 Meg RAM w/ SVGA and can program a good text based spread sheet in a little over a week.

The Turbo Pascal Programmer

The Turbo Pascal programmer occasionally has a word with God.
He can swim pretty well.
He programs on a 486dx 33 with 4Meg RAM and can program a complicated scientific calculator in a week and a half.
The TP Programmer tends to put "begin" and "end" before every major topic: "begin That new game is awesome, man! end"

The Fortran Programmer

The Fortran programmer sometimes catches a glimpse of God.
He manages to keep himself afloat in shallow water.
He programs on a DEC VAX with a VT100 (he's too manly for a GUI). A Fortran programmer cand do a passable calculation device in a few weeks.
Nobody really know how Fortran programmers talk because there are so few of them these days.

The QBASIC Programmer

The QBASIC programmer knows who God is.
He has trouble avoiding drowning in his own bathtub.
QBASIC programmer works on a 486sx 25 with 4 Meg RAM. He can write a program that accepts two numbers and adds them together in just under 4 weeks.

The LOGO Progammer

About the only thing a Logo programmer knows about GOD is that the word is short enough for him to sound out, but he has trouble spelling it.
He wets himself with a squirt gun.
He programms on an Apple IIc, and can do a program that puts a box on the screen that some may argue looks like a calculator in about 8 weeks (with help from his teacher).
The LOGO programmer can't actually talk very well, but instead draws a whole lot of pictures, crayon being their favorite media.

The Assembly Language Programmer

The assembly language programmer is God.
He parts the water when he wishes to cross it.
He programs on what ever he damm well pleases and can do a multi-tasking, multi-user networkable operating system that includes a GUI spreadsheet during his coffee break.